The sun is beginning to set on this first night of my “personal alone time” portion of the sabbatical. I have made it up to my land up north, mowed the grass, have set up the tent, made dinner, and am now sitting by the fire, reading my Bible.

During this week of solitude, I will be reflecting on my call, reading my Bible, and spending time in prayer. Tonight, I am reading from John 19 and 20–the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus.

Keeping an eye out for the theme of “light”, I picked up on a small detail worth mentioning. John 20:1 says, “Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb.” (Emphasis mine.)

Just before this in scripture, Jesus had been taken down from the cross and quickly placed in a nearby tomb, just before work had to stop before observing the Sabbath. Mary was simply coming as early as was allowed to complete the burial preparations. She had no idea about the coming resurrection of Jesus. She was, physically and metaphorically, “in the dark.”

She did not have all the answers to all her questions. Even after Mary spoke to two angels, she was still confused. Jesus had to address her by name before she even realized it was the resurrected Jesus talking to her.

Sadly, like Mary, even we pastors can be “in the dark” when it comes to knowing God’s plans for us. Right now, the church I’m currently called to serve is grieving the loss of a long-time pastor (he retired after a 22-year tenure). I don’t know what, exactly, I will be returning to upon the completion of my sabbatical. Much like Mary, I’m “in the dark.”

So, during this time, I humbly ask for your prayers, so that I too may hear my Lord speak to me, through His Word and in contemplation.